I'm no expert but I do have an opinion. Who doesn't, right? I believe its quite simple. I also think that everyone should read "The Five Love Languages". Or just take the quiz. I will discuss this book a little more later but Gary Chapman is on the money with this one. Everyone doesn't love the same way and learning your and your partner love langauage is important to me. Get your mate to take the test. Don't take the test for him or her. Promise some soft kisses if they are hesitant. I did go to a seminar concerning this book and I believe that it was an excellent weekend of learning. Marriage is just as important as anything you love. It takes hard work and patience. It's like a garden the more work you put in it the more beautiful that garden will be.
Buuuuttttt!! There is more.
1. Understand your spouse is human and usually do not have super hero powers. They don't read minds and they WILL make mistakes.
2. Though I say its simple, marriage is all but easy. If you're not willing to work hard then its not for you. There will be difficult times in marriage but you have to work and fight.
3. Though I say fight and be willing to work, before you even consider marriage make sure your not settling. This isn't about dating but I want to make a point and say you can't work on something if both parties aren't committed.
4. The family that YOU created comes first. Husband or wife, and children must be your priority.
5. I know we all may have best girlfriends or guy friends but ultimately ur spouse should really be a bestfriend. You should be able to talk to them about any and everything.
6. Allow healthy and respectful "me" time. You are individuals. There are times that you may need time with the girls or guys.
7. Weed out the no-good friends. Some friends just aren't good for you or your marriage. Clean house of the trouble and drama.
8. Date date date. You dated before marriage continue to date after. No time you say?? Once a month, that's all I ask. Even if its just an hour on your lunch break. With kids it gets hard but there are things you can do. Put the kids to bed and set something up at home and allow some of that time to just talk and then do what you all consider fun. That doesnt mean it HAS to be sex. Though nice it but do something besides sex.
9. If you have learned your mate's love language try to accommodate it. For instance, when my husband took the test he scored high in words of affirmation, quality and personal touch. Actually those where my top three, as well.
Excerpts from the book.
Buuuuttttt!! There is more.
1. Understand your spouse is human and usually do not have super hero powers. They don't read minds and they WILL make mistakes.
2. Though I say its simple, marriage is all but easy. If you're not willing to work hard then its not for you. There will be difficult times in marriage but you have to work and fight.
3. Though I say fight and be willing to work, before you even consider marriage make sure your not settling. This isn't about dating but I want to make a point and say you can't work on something if both parties aren't committed.
4. The family that YOU created comes first. Husband or wife, and children must be your priority.
5. I know we all may have best girlfriends or guy friends but ultimately ur spouse should really be a bestfriend. You should be able to talk to them about any and everything.
6. Allow healthy and respectful "me" time. You are individuals. There are times that you may need time with the girls or guys.
7. Weed out the no-good friends. Some friends just aren't good for you or your marriage. Clean house of the trouble and drama.
8. Date date date. You dated before marriage continue to date after. No time you say?? Once a month, that's all I ask. Even if its just an hour on your lunch break. With kids it gets hard but there are things you can do. Put the kids to bed and set something up at home and allow some of that time to just talk and then do what you all consider fun. That doesnt mean it HAS to be sex. Though nice it but do something besides sex.
9. If you have learned your mate's love language try to accommodate it. For instance, when my husband took the test he scored high in words of affirmation, quality and personal touch. Actually those where my top three, as well.
Excerpts from the book.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
- There are the other styles discussed in the book
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
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