When you arrive to this blog, what should you expect...

Well, I started this blog maybe a year or so ago with the purpose of rediscovering myself. After 7 years of being a full time mom and a few part time business ventures along the way, I am approaching a new chapter in my life. I am soon returning to the work force. I wanted to document this journey.

During this journey, I talk about my spirituality, my fashion, my family and marriage, finances, and health and beauty, and my life as a Army wive. Things that I talk to amongst friends.  When I first started my blog I talked a lot about my relationship and that led to me answering questions for others. I do not claim to be an expert but I am a friend. Which is the reason, I answer emails. It's my virtual girlfriends and coffee time.

I also talk about products that I try from time to time. If I like something, of course, I will share with my friends.

Since the New year is approaching, I am looking to find my niche with my blog. Please feel free to email me. To become a friend, and just comment. I would love to get to know my readers. See ya next year!

D.

First Salute - The "Silver Dollar" Tradition

When my husband completed Officer Candidate School, My son gave my husband his first salute. It was a very exciting experience. 

First Salute - The "Silver Dollar" Tradition

The Army Officer's Guide, considered the standard for information concerning general officer knowledge and the Army's traditions, discusses the tradition as follows:

The “Silver Dollar” Salute. It is a tradition in our Army that newly commissioned second lieutenants present a silver dollar to the first enlisted Soldier who salutes them. The coin symbolically acknowledges the receipt of respect due the new rank and position. [p. 95, "Customs of the Service," Army Officer's Guide, 45th Edition, Lt. Col. Lawrence P. Crocker, U.S. Army (Retired), (Stackpole Books, Harrisburg, 1990).]

No one really knows the origins of the tradition, but the tradition dates back to the 19th century. Some hold that the tradition even comes from the British during the Colonial Period.
The coin dollar of old was either the gold or silver piece of currency at the time. After our coinage changed from silver in the 60's, the coin of choice became the Eisenhower Dollar. Though out of circulation, most new lieutenants prefer the "Ike dollar" because its large size makes it so profoundly and easily identifiable as a "silver dollar."

While non-silver Ike dollars are more readily available, please recognize that a pure traditionalist would select a pure silver dollar ... available at coin shops for about $12 to $15.
Marlow White welcomes you to the traditions of the Army and wishes the best for your new career.

http://www.marlowwhite.com/faq-coin-dollar-first-salute.html

I love to share about my family but one thing that I have to be mindful of is OPSEC. So for some of you who arent sure, here is a article and definition. Remember OPEC is vital to the safety of your military member and yourself.

“OPSEC is a vital element in

protecting the Army’s soldiers and

missions, and I want to stress how

vital a role every member of the team

plays in ensuring that we deny our

adversaries potentially useful

information.

“Whether we are on duty or off

duty, we cannot afford to let our

guard down. Your diligence in OPSEC

is key to ensuring our effectiveness in

operations and our collective safety.

Together, we will succeed.”

Maj. Gen. Keith B. Alexander

Commanding General

U.S. Army Intelligence and Security Command

Operations Security, or OPSEC, is keeping potential adversaries from discovering our critical information. As the name suggests, it protects our operations – planned, in progress, and those completed. Success depends on secrecy and surprise, so the military can accomplish the mission faster and with less risk. Our adversaries want our information, and they don’t concentrate on only soldiers to get it. They will be concentrating on the family member as well. 

Examples Of Critical Information

• Detailed information about the mission of assigned units.

• Details on locations and times of unit deployments.

• Personnel transactions that occur in large numbers (Example: pay information, powers of attorney, wills, deployment information).

• References to trends in unit morale or personnel problems.

• Details concerning security procedures.

So what the heck is FRG, Anyway?

ArmyFRG is your direct connection to Command information for your unit. They keep you noticed on what is happening in the local community. They are your contact about your spouses deployment. This is a GREAT resource. Get to know your contact!!!

Family Readiness Groups

Definition

An FRG is a battery/company affiliated organization of military members and family members who utilize volunteers to provide social and emotional support, outreach services, and information to families before, during, and between family separations, deployments, extended tours of temporary duty and field training exercises.

Purpose

the main purpose of an FRG, is to educate families on the resources available to them as military families.  This is an on-going education and mentoring  process. 

Goals

The goal of all FRGs is to produce families who are sustaining and self-sufficient

An FRG is NOT responsible for:

·         Acting as surrogate parents

·         Acting as social workers

·         Lending money, cars, or other expensive items

·         Supporting a divided "club" atmosphere (i.e. enlisted/officer, single/married spouses/parents etc…)

·         Providing a babysitting service

Duplicating Department of the Army, post, or community activities and resources (i.e. providing food, money, legal advice, etc.)

Structure

The FRG is based on volunteerism.  By military regulations thebattery/company commander is ultimately responsible for the establishment and support of the FRG, but the operation and functionality of the group depends on the level of involvement of its volunteers   A volunteer chairperson or leader is officially appointed by the commander to help organize and lead the FRG.

The volunteer FRG leader is responsible for organizing meetings, creating and sending  newsletters, maintaining a phone tree, and/or assisting with activities, events, and fundraisers.

The FRG volunteers are made up of any Soldiers, spouses, or family members associated with the unit who hold key positions within the FRG i.e. Asst. Leader, Sec/Tres, Historian, Committee Members etc…  Some volunteers will be "Key Callers" or "Points of Contact."    The POCs' names appear at the top of a FRG Phone Tree and they are responsible for calling the people listed below their name to relay messages from the commander and/or FRG leader. Although all positions within the FRG structure are voluntary, commanders should recognize them as part of his/her special staff a treated accordingly.

Family Readiness Group Framework

It may be helpful to view Family Readiness in this way.  Starting with families at the center of all family readiness events, there are three main goals of the FRG.  Preparing families for separation from the military member, educating families on the mission and responsibilities of military families, and communicating regularly with all families are all an integral part of maintaining healthy family relationships.  If the FRG is structured so that one or more of these goals is being met with any planned event, both planning and execution of the event will be more successful.

  

PREPARATION

The primary goal of any Family Readiness Group should be to maintain readiness for any type of separation - field exercise, deployment, schools, etc.  Through regularly scheduled FRG meetings, newsletters, phone tree messages, classes, and deployment readiness briefings, all families should be better equipped to deal with the stresses associated with separation.

EDUCATION

Educating families on the military way of life, responsibilities of the military member, and unit mission can help alleviate frustration and confusion when separations occur.  Organizations such as Guard Family Team Building (GFTB), Guard Family Action Plan (GFAP), Operation READY, and Army Family Action Plan (AFAP) programs are great ways to educate families on how to better handle the issues that arise in the military.

COMMUNICATION

Communicating regularly with all military families helps create unit cohesion and can eliminate many problems that arise due to gossip, misinformation, and/or rumors that may circulate within  your unit. 

SAMPLE GOALS FOR A BATTERY/COMPANY LEVEL FRG

1. Support single Soldiers
1. Welcome new Soldiers in the monthly newsletter
2. Provide Christmas stockings with goodies
3. Provide Easter goody baskets/bags
4. Recognize birthdays with cupcakes, quarterly; in newsletter, monthly
5. Provide each Soldier with monthly newsletter
2. Support married Soldiers, spouses, and children
1. Welcome new comers
1. Welcome Committee
2. Welcome packets

2. Holiday parties
3. Family events
2. Maintain effective communication with all Soldiers and families

b.      Maintaining and distributing current phone tree rosters

c.       Mailing monthly newsletters to each family

d.      Providing copies of monthly newsletters for Soldiers to read 

e.       Utilizing email messages to send information to families

d.      Educate Soldiers and family members on the mission of our unit 

a.       a. Newsletters

b FRG meetings, classes/workshops

c.       Soldier formations

d.      FRG activities

e.       Prepare Soldiers and family members for deployment/redeployment

a.       Sponsor briefings throughout any deployment /mobilization process

b.      Provide referral and resource information for pre-deployment, deployment and post deployment periods.

Obviously, these types of goals are better met when all leaders in the unit actively support them.  The commander, MPOC, FRG leader, and volunteers must work together to create an environment where military members  and families feel comfortable and welcome.  Once the environment is set,  families are more likely to attend meetings and events.  This sets the stage for preparing military members and families for separations, educating them on military and unit issues, and maintaining open communication, and that will pave the way for a successful, effective Family Readiness Group.

Adapted in part from information obtained from http://FRG.army.mil, article entitled What is a Family Readiness Group, by Traci Cook.                 

Moving some posts over

Hey ya'll. That's right I say YA'LL a lot. Hey I am from N.C., cant help myself. I am even known to say churn once in a while when I am referring to children. I am working on that one.

ANYWAYZZZZZZZZZz.

I have a blog for my military life experience but never post over there anymore. I was thinking since this blog is about my life and what not. I thought that I should bring those post over and delete that blog. They are older so please forgive me. Someone might find them helpful.

Talk to you later!

Visitor question: How do you handle your husband always being gone? Dont you get lonely?

My husband and our 3 children. I LOVE this picture!

Another question in my email. Sorry it took me so long to reply.


How do you handle your husband always being gone? Dont you get lonely?


Thank you for the question. I hope that you decide to press that follow button and become a friend. During deployment times such as this, I LOVE new friends. :)

Anyway, I will give you a little background and then answer the question. My husband and I have been together for 15 years. Yep, I have been with this man since I was 18 years old. In those 15 years, there have been times that he had to go and take care of business. Even when he wasnt in the Army, work would take him away for corporate sponsored trainings and meetings.

But the longest he has had to be gone is associated with the Army. It's hard to say "See ya when you get back". Anytime my husband has to go that means that he has to miss out on something; birthdays, anniversaries, sports, holidays, and etc. That is really hard on him. But what motivates us through the 12 months is God, love, Skype, care packages, phone calls, and busy time. I also found that I have to keep myself business. Less time to think about all the time he is gone the better.

I have a lot of heart to hearts talks with God. You know if you listen, he does answer.

The love I have for my husband gets stronger every deployment or time away. It reminds me how much I really love that man. His bad habits really doesnt seem to be that bad. I can deal with the sock issue a lot easier than a deployment. I also let myself cry. I am strong but I also have feelings. There are times that I need a good snotting it up cry. It helps me. Once that cry is over, then its time for me to get back on my grind. It is also the love that we have for our children. Those little monsters need me and my husband to be strong. Its hard enough for them to see or hear my husband and I lose it.

I dont know about everyone but care packages help both me and my husband. They make me feel good to send them and it makes him feel good receiving them. He claims that I dont have to send so many boxes but when one arrives he is like a child on Christmas. I send cookies, snacks, microwaveable meals, favorite items, pictures, art work. I send anything that I believe will brighten up his day. I also sign him up for all the programs I can find that support the soldiers. He LOVES the letters that the children sends thanking him for his service.

Skype and phone calls, These are wonderful. We have every IM service you can think of and its just a way to see  or hear each other voices. Sometimes it's only for 10 minutes but it is such a morale booster.

Last but not least, It takes maturity. You have to be mature to get through these times. You have to realize that what your spouse is doing is his or her job. There will be times that you have to share him or her with the world but that's his or her job. Its not fun at all but you have to be in a mature mind set. You have to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that comes with them being gone but you also have to be able to handle/control those emotions.

People always say that the military destroy marriages. I dont believe that. I believe that marriages are formed for the wrong reason and deployments and such makes people realize it. What do I mean??

One Scenario:

Well you will see a 18 year old marry his or her mate because during boot camp they were lonely and didnt like that feeling. They rush in to that marriage. No counseling. No discussion about their career. Marriage isnt based on love alone. It takes a lot more. That a lot more will help people discover whether its love or a lot of like. So then they deploy, all that time alone they realize that they are missing out on life. They are putting their life on hold for someone they just like. Then thats when the issues surface. NOT TO SAY THAT ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THAT BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE. Shoot they dont even have to be young. Its all about maturity and patience. If  you dont have neither, you will struggle.


Ok, this post is long enough! I hope that I answered your question. 

Can some explain the etiquette of social websites

I dont seem to understand the etiquette of social websites; such as facebook and etc. I have friends from high school, friends I met along the way in life, some marketing networking and such on my friends list. I am a little conscience on who I add to my page. If you request my friendship and I dont know you, I will be a little kick-picky on whether I will accept that request. I will not just add if you want to JUST increase your friend's list. I mean marketing certain services are different. If you have a business and you are looking to expand your marketing through facebook and its not against who I am, sure why not. Does that make sense? That is not the point of this blog so I will get to the point. 

What do you expose on your social website? I am amazed on how many people will talk about their issues in marriage, the hate of family members, and just stuff that a stranger shouldnt know. Am I overlooking the point of this. I believe that the world should not know that you husband is a dick and you are thinking of leaving him. We are friends because you have an awesome home-based business not on a personal level. Did you forget that you add friends that do not have an history with you.

 I met someone through my pregnancy and she found me on facebook. It was nice to talk to someone that I knew when I was pregnant with my girls. One day she is going off on people. How they are taking what she said on facebook and using it against her. She stated that they misused her words and using it against her. I personally think that she gave the ammo for others to use. Then I got a new friend request with a note attached that she is creating a new page for people that she trust. Now, I accepted the request because I dont have anything against her BUT we are not close friends. It was just an association that we had when we were pregnant. I only know the basics about her and that's about it. How can I be someone that she trust when she doesnt "really" know me. 

Now this is my question. When is too much too much for all to read. I know some people need the outlet and use these sites to do so. I even had to email reminders about OPSEC. Some things shouldnt be talked about on these sites especially when you have 500-1000 friends on your page. Most people are close with maybe up to 5-10 people. Someone help me understand, please.