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Visitor question: How do you handle your husband always being gone? Dont you get lonely?

My husband and our 3 children. I LOVE this picture!

Another question in my email. Sorry it took me so long to reply.


How do you handle your husband always being gone? Dont you get lonely?


Thank you for the question. I hope that you decide to press that follow button and become a friend. During deployment times such as this, I LOVE new friends. :)

Anyway, I will give you a little background and then answer the question. My husband and I have been together for 15 years. Yep, I have been with this man since I was 18 years old. In those 15 years, there have been times that he had to go and take care of business. Even when he wasnt in the Army, work would take him away for corporate sponsored trainings and meetings.

But the longest he has had to be gone is associated with the Army. It's hard to say "See ya when you get back". Anytime my husband has to go that means that he has to miss out on something; birthdays, anniversaries, sports, holidays, and etc. That is really hard on him. But what motivates us through the 12 months is God, love, Skype, care packages, phone calls, and busy time. I also found that I have to keep myself business. Less time to think about all the time he is gone the better.

I have a lot of heart to hearts talks with God. You know if you listen, he does answer.

The love I have for my husband gets stronger every deployment or time away. It reminds me how much I really love that man. His bad habits really doesnt seem to be that bad. I can deal with the sock issue a lot easier than a deployment. I also let myself cry. I am strong but I also have feelings. There are times that I need a good snotting it up cry. It helps me. Once that cry is over, then its time for me to get back on my grind. It is also the love that we have for our children. Those little monsters need me and my husband to be strong. Its hard enough for them to see or hear my husband and I lose it.

I dont know about everyone but care packages help both me and my husband. They make me feel good to send them and it makes him feel good receiving them. He claims that I dont have to send so many boxes but when one arrives he is like a child on Christmas. I send cookies, snacks, microwaveable meals, favorite items, pictures, art work. I send anything that I believe will brighten up his day. I also sign him up for all the programs I can find that support the soldiers. He LOVES the letters that the children sends thanking him for his service.

Skype and phone calls, These are wonderful. We have every IM service you can think of and its just a way to see  or hear each other voices. Sometimes it's only for 10 minutes but it is such a morale booster.

Last but not least, It takes maturity. You have to be mature to get through these times. You have to realize that what your spouse is doing is his or her job. There will be times that you have to share him or her with the world but that's his or her job. Its not fun at all but you have to be in a mature mind set. You have to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that comes with them being gone but you also have to be able to handle/control those emotions.

People always say that the military destroy marriages. I dont believe that. I believe that marriages are formed for the wrong reason and deployments and such makes people realize it. What do I mean??

One Scenario:

Well you will see a 18 year old marry his or her mate because during boot camp they were lonely and didnt like that feeling. They rush in to that marriage. No counseling. No discussion about their career. Marriage isnt based on love alone. It takes a lot more. That a lot more will help people discover whether its love or a lot of like. So then they deploy, all that time alone they realize that they are missing out on life. They are putting their life on hold for someone they just like. Then thats when the issues surface. NOT TO SAY THAT ALL MARRIAGES ARE LIKE THAT BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE. Shoot they dont even have to be young. Its all about maturity and patience. If  you dont have neither, you will struggle.


Ok, this post is long enough! I hope that I answered your question. 

My December Pick of the Month-Shoedazzle

Knee-high flat boots in faux leather combine out-of-this-world style and versatility. 

Leggings in winter call for a tall boot like Natiri to provide extra coverage. Although she’s not heeled, Natiri still feels sexy with her supple faux leather and zipper running up one side, and skinny vertical stripe up the other. Add a long cardigan or tunic over your leggings and belt it for flattering waist definition.

Color:

Charcoal

Shaft Height:

21.5" *

Calf Circumference:

15" *

By:

Imported

Fit:

True to size

Material:

Stretch faux leather

So what do ya'll Think???

Check out the site if you haven't done so yet!!!!

*measurements are approximate and may vary by size

Can some explain the etiquette of social websites

I dont seem to understand the etiquette of social websites; such as facebook and etc. I have friends from high school, friends I met along the way in life, some marketing networking and such on my friends list. I am a little conscience on who I add to my page. If you request my friendship and I dont know you, I will be a little kick-picky on whether I will accept that request. I will not just add if you want to JUST increase your friend's list. I mean marketing certain services are different. If you have a business and you are looking to expand your marketing through facebook and its not against who I am, sure why not. Does that make sense? That is not the point of this blog so I will get to the point. 

What do you expose on your social website? I am amazed on how many people will talk about their issues in marriage, the hate of family members, and just stuff that a stranger shouldnt know. Am I overlooking the point of this. I believe that the world should not know that you husband is a dick and you are thinking of leaving him. We are friends because you have an awesome home-based business not on a personal level. Did you forget that you add friends that do not have an history with you.

 I met someone through my pregnancy and she found me on facebook. It was nice to talk to someone that I knew when I was pregnant with my girls. One day she is going off on people. How they are taking what she said on facebook and using it against her. She stated that they misused her words and using it against her. I personally think that she gave the ammo for others to use. Then I got a new friend request with a note attached that she is creating a new page for people that she trust. Now, I accepted the request because I dont have anything against her BUT we are not close friends. It was just an association that we had when we were pregnant. I only know the basics about her and that's about it. How can I be someone that she trust when she doesnt "really" know me. 

Now this is my question. When is too much too much for all to read. I know some people need the outlet and use these sites to do so. I even had to email reminders about OPSEC. Some things shouldnt be talked about on these sites especially when you have 500-1000 friends on your page. Most people are close with maybe up to 5-10 people. Someone help me understand, please.