Saturday, August 8, 2009

Natural vs. Relaxer Wars...WOW

It was until last night that I didn't realized there were wars out there about which is better. I have to say that it was a little disturbing to me. That one race can fight over something sooo pity. Being black, African American, American, or whatever they call me now, I(that is another debate in itself)find it hard to digest that people are considered less than for decisions that they make about personal choices. Key word PERSONAL!

What's my stance on the each its own. I have lived natural for a few years and I have lived with my straighteners. Do I have a preference? Yes! Will I ever go back and forth between my hair being in its natural state or transition back to my relaxer. Yes, probably will do so for the rest of my life. Does this mean that I am less black? HA! It will never be that easy. I am ALWAYS proud of my heritage. I am proud that I am able to have options for my looks. Will I try to explain why I do what I do with my hair. Nope!! Nor should you.

This is such the slave mentality. Do your research. Back in our slave years, the slave owners did any and everything to break us as people. He tried to even pull us apart as a race. He wanted to dehumanize us. Now, we deal with what complexion is more beautiful, what type of hair is better, and even our speech places barriers in our community.

Black people are beautiful and don't even realize that beauty of our differences. I was teased for years about the size of my nose. It use to bother me. I said that when I was old enough, I was going to get plastic surgery. Then I thought about it. Why? Why should I change something that has been with me my WHOLE life. I realized that my nose is my extension of breath(ha ha) nothing more nothing less. I have to love me the way I am before anyone can love me the way I deserve. Does that mean I think that plastic surgery is wrong. HECK NO! I am getting my tummy tuck. All I'm saying is that I cant make people happy if I am not happy in myself. I have to find comfort in me.

Weaves, braids, natural, relaxers all are vanity issues. This is something that makes the individual feel good. It is not a definition of who were are. It shouldn't dictate who we are. Look at Michael Jackson, He changed the outside without working on the inside. This sent him to his grave. Learn to love yourself! You may even like who you are. You may even learn something about you. If you don't like who you are, change it but change it because its not WHAT you want.

It took years for this barrier to be built and will take years for us to overcome.

Again, I don't write my blogs for the purpose of others. I just feel blessed that one or two even read it. I write this for myself. My grammar sucks and sometimes my thoughts are jumbled. I write these for self-help and if I reach one or two others and help them I feel that God has blessed me to share my story.. whatever it may be for that day. I live, learn, and blog about it.

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