Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Why are you dumbing yourself for your friends.

 I may have talked about this before but I heard it again and thought I should talk a little about it.

I heard this on the radio. I was intrigued. Michael Baison (I think that's the dude name) asked why are people surrounding themselves with dumb people. Why aren't people looking for friends that challenge their intellect. He said never be the smartest person in your crew. You will find yourself dumbing up because there is no potential to live up to.

I believe that he's right. Everyone should keep people in their circle that encourages you to do better. Not saying that your friendship should be about competition but associate yourself with people that compliment your potential. Does that make sense??? The topic isn't saying to restrict yourself from friends that aren't as smart, not lets not say smart but as motivated, as you. 

Try it. Maybe you will see a benefit....

I loved that topic.

I am at peace and I am happy

For the first time in a long time...

I am actually happy. I mean giddy happy. I now realize before I did this big reform of myself I was finding myself getting in this rut of feeling like life was passing me by. I mean I was getting a lot accomplished but I couldn't see it. People would get me down knowing that I usually dont allow that mess. 

My own Aunt called me bi-polar because I wouldn't allow her to lie and gossip to me about my own bother and father. Then I realized that sometimes even family you have to let go. I told her not to call/email me with nonsense. I don't have time for it.

My in-laws.....I dont understand them. Dont know what makes them tick but I also learned that I dont have time for it. 

I also realized that I cant fight other people's battles. I am also learning that selfishness and jealousy is just as bad of a disease as cancer. 

Friends would bog me down with their problems....

I have come to a point where I see that rainbow again. I am happy and I also realized that I have to stand up and stop letting people walk over me because I rather keep peace than to just put them in their place. There is so much that I have found inside potential that I let welt away. I think part of it was because of the "keep peace" attitude within my life.  I was trying to maintain peace at all cost with all situations. I also feel that I got too comfortable with being a mother. I forgot about me the individual. I forgot about my needs. I am learning that I am a even better mother when I take better care of myself.

As I open my eyes to all of this, do you know that my blessing are amazing lately. I cant say that I wasn't a blessed woman before all of this but I can honestly say that I can appreciate all the blessings that God has and continue to gift me. 

I am learning myself again. I am loving what I am learning. I am loving what I am seeing.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Maybe I just dont know how to be a friend....

A friend from back in 10th grade found me on facebook. It was great to get back in touch with her. But I think that I can't do the friendship....Am I a bitch? The only time she calls me is when negative stuff happen in her life. Don't get me wrong my heart goes out to her but dang.


1. Yesterday I get a text at 7:00 something in the morning. She told me she is in the hospital and to call her. (Appendicitis)
2. Her Mother in law passed. She was in the final stages of cancer.
3. She had a upper respiratory infection
4. Car accident.

The list keeps going. I don't get happy calls just calls like this. I really feel for her. I do but why all the negativity. I do talk to her. I try to be a listening ear but its draining dealing with someone's issues especially when I have issues on my own. God forbid if I am dealing with stuff because her issues will be more pressing than mine. She makes a point of it.

Am I being a bitch? 

I know that she is reaching out to me to rekindle our friendship but I just don't know....

Thursday, December 10, 2009


I have to say that I am really thrown by Usher and his new song. I usually don't judge a artist personal life but this song really bother me as a wife and mother. He said the song was written before all of this with Tameka but why would you sing a song like that about the mother of your children. You may hate this woman but your children will grow up and one day hear a song that daddy was singing about their mommy. What does that say about him as a man.

For you I gave my heart and turned my back against the world
'Cause you were my girl, girl, girl
I done damn near lost my mama, I done been through so much drama
I done turned into the man that I never thought I'd be.

If you take his chorus and relate it to the bible, he did what he was supposed to do. He a man and say your choice of marriage wasnt a smart one. MOVE ON. Dont bash the woman.

I wont go any further with this song but I really have changed my view on Usher. I use to be a die hard fan but I just can get with that. 

Annnnd I'm not going to talk about the 911 call.......

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A mother's concern.....God Does Answer prayers.

OK, Here's the story....

Since my husband graduated from OCS, we are eligible for different housing. They are about to remodel where we are living so they offered us housing within days instead of the normal months. Well anyway we had to choices for where we could move....Brand New Housing or Older housing. The catch for us is if I wait too long I may have to move a family of 5 solo. The older homes are larger but I mean the others are brand new.  I prayed that God would send us to the new homes. Got the call Monday that we were in the older housing. Surprisingly, I wasn't upset. It wasn't new but it wasn't bad neither. My husband was a little upset but he got over it quickly. He moved on to trying to move into a new house a week after Christmas. 

Then yesterday we get a letter in the mail that there was ANOTHER guy that snuck on post and tried to abduct a child. I said another guy because this is the second time within the past 4 months. The school is right inside the gate so its not hard for something I mean something one to get a pass to get on base, kidnap a child and get a quick getaway. Well this school is in the NEW housing development. 

So do you see where I am getting at. I prayed for something. God answer not the way I wanted him to but the way I needed him too. 

Thank God for the smarts of the 2 children that were affected by this. They knew to scream and get away. I know this can happen anywhere but this school is an open target. I am also thanking God that there are cameras at the front gates to identify cars. They actually found the car that attempting this abduction.

Now, I think that the post needs to work on who they are giving passes to.....

Thursday, December 3, 2009

My Journey to a better me and better spiritual health

So, I was talking to my husband yesterday (the reason I have abandoned my husband.) and he said that he likes the new and improved me. He said that he noticed that I am really putting effort in my self-improvement. Now, that led me to think two things. First, I must be doing something right because the man that notices nothing noticed that. OR, I have really let myself go and he didnt want to say anything. You know I wasnt actually brave enough to ask which one was it. He wouldnt tell me anyway. Nevertheless, I feel really good that my efforts are being noticed. I just have to keep it up.

I tend to start things and never follow through. I'm working on that too. I still have to work on my weight. YES, I have a problem with my weight. I don't want to be this big but it seems that I am not putting the effort to fix it. I am addicted to food. I guess just like any other addict I have to face the problem, say a loud I have a problem and then do something to fix the problem. EASIER SAID THAN DONE. I know that over the years, I have gained a lot of weight. About 70-80 to be exact. Now I am ready to let go. I know this subject is popular with me but it is starting to bother me that I haven't put the effort towards doing what I need to do.

Spiritually, I have grown soooooo much. I am still working on going back to church on a regular. Why I don't go to church on a regular? I haven't found a church that compliments my lifestyle. I know that one is out there but I soooooo not like to look. Heck, I don't like looking in stores like TjMaxx or Marshalls because of the efforts of looking for something to fit me. I do have to say, I don't have a problem with going to God, talking to God and letting him take control. There are times that I have to remind myself that God got this but I am getting so much better.

Overall, I am very proud of where I come. I mean I can say a few years ago I couldn't even write a blog exposing my weaknesses. When I learn to let go of the things that are not healthy for me spiritually, mentally and physically , I feel better. I feel like a better person. I still have my faults but I am work in progress.