For the first time in a long time...
I am actually happy. I mean giddy happy. I now realize before I did this big reform of myself I was finding myself getting in this rut of feeling like life was passing me by. I mean I was getting a lot accomplished but I couldn't see it. People would get me down knowing that I usually dont allow that mess.
My own Aunt called me bi-polar because I wouldn't allow her to lie and gossip to me about my own bother and father. Then I realized that sometimes even family you have to let go. I told her not to call/email me with nonsense. I don't have time for it.
My in-laws.....I dont understand them. Dont know what makes them tick but I also learned that I dont have time for it.
I also realized that I cant fight other people's battles. I am also learning that selfishness and jealousy is just as bad of a disease as cancer.
Friends would bog me down with their problems....
I have come to a point where I see that rainbow again. I am happy and I also realized that I have to stand up and stop letting people walk over me because I rather keep peace than to just put them in their place. There is so much that I have found inside me...my potential that I let welt away. I think part of it was because of the "keep peace" attitude within my life. I was trying to maintain peace at all cost with all situations. I also feel that I got too comfortable with being a mother. I forgot about me the individual. I forgot about my needs. I am learning that I am a even better mother when I take better care of myself.
As I open my eyes to all of this, do you know that my blessing are amazing lately. I cant say that I wasn't a blessed woman before all of this but I can honestly say that I can appreciate all the blessings that God has and continue to gift me.
I am learning myself again. I am loving what I am learning. I am loving what I am seeing.