Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Submit to your husband

uhhh ohhhh. Touchy subject!!!

Before I begin to address the title, please read this:

Eph 5:25-33

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
I bold the verses 25-33 because people tend to take the bible and translate for their own purpose. Many forget that this was the verse that came right after the wife being submissive. If the woman is humble, modest and not arrogant or prideful, the man should also cherish and love his wife like Jesus loved us and gave his life. If you really think about  it, that is romantic view of a marriage. Women supports their husbands and men protect their wives with all of their heart. 

I was raised ole skool y'all so some may not dig what I am saying. I believ ine a wife submitting to her husband. Dont get me wrong. I do not believe that means become a slave to husband. I was raised that a man is supposed to be the head of the house. He takes care of his wife and children.
I am going to quote the bible a few times there. Be patient with me please. 
Gensis 2:23-24
23 The man said,
       "This is now bone of my bones
       and flesh of my flesh;
       she shall be called 'woman,'
       for she was taken out of man."
 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 
Plain and simple once the man leaves home, heand this wife is a team. There is no what my mama or what my daddy said. In marriage, its 100 percent us. Nothing on the outside should come between a man and his wife.  He has vowed to love and take care of this wife as if he was taking care of himself .

I am also the woman that believes that a man is suppose to work by the sweat of his brow. If a man is out there busting his butt to make sure his family has, the wife should ensure that her household and children are taken care of as well. I am not saying that a woman shouldn't work. I worked before kids and at one point helped pay my husband way through college. I worked full time while he worked part time and went to college. Why did I do that? I feel that his education was important if he was going to fulfill his obligation of supporting his family. I cant say that I didn't finish college was his fault because it really wasn't. It hurt him to no end when I dropped out. I loved the money more than I loved my education. So I know how to work and I know how to be independent. But now that I am married, I feel that my household and family comes first. There will be a point that I return to work but not until all my children are in school full-time and still my obligation will be to them first. My mother and father did it for me and I will do it for my children. 

I have a awesome husband that works hard to please and support his family. God has blessed me with a wonderful man. Which makes being submissive easy.  My husband asks my opinion on  everything.I share my opinion on everything that happens in my house. I also respect him enough to know that in all decisions that he makes for his family, he makes with a humble heart. So when there are times that he does things without me knowing, I trust that he is doing what's best for all of us. Either one of us are perfect. We sometimes cant not get this right. Life, marriage, and our faith is always going to be a learning experience. I cant give up on him and he  not give on me

I find that being the head of the house is a struggle for some. I am my own person. I have my dreams and goals. I will fulfill my dreams and goals. I also have a family that needs to be loved and cared for. My husband is the head and I respect that. Just like he respects my choice of putting my household first.

Ok but what, I feel that in certain aspects the feminine movement has given some men the excuse to kill chivalry.  No, I dont need a man to do anything. I was taught to change oil (I dont though...ewww), I know how to work hard, and I also know how survive without a man. HA!! I have to I am married to a soldier. He is never home. But Dang y'all. I like for a man to open my door. I don't mind him pulling out my chair. Nor do I mind him taking care of the so-called manly stuff. It doesn't mean you cant do. It's nice once in a while to have a man be down with that chick name chivalry. 

Mama's can sometimes mess their sons up too. A man should be able to cook, clean, and sew up his pant hem if he needs to. To me, there is nothing worst than a man not knowing how to do the basic. He doesnt need to know how to make thanksgiving dinner, nor tailor a suit. Why are we not teaching our men these things. I dont think that gender should determine what is taught. My son will not leave out of my house without knowing how to take care of himself. My daughters are going to know that they dont NEED a man to take care of them. They are giving him a great privilege to take care of them. Saying all that to say this. When a couple marry, they are not entering a marriage to be taken care of. They are entering a marriage because of love. If a woman does for her house doesnt mean that she is a slave. If a man brings home his paycheck and works hard for his family,  she cant compete for the head position. She has to let that man be a man.   See I told you I am ole skool. 

Just like I  do need a ring for me to be your wife. Method, I dont know what you iz thinking...LOL!!! Its deeper than a piece of paper.  That subject is another day another post. ;)


EmberRose said...

I identify with a lot of what you're saying.


You know I totally agree with you. I have always told my friends that I do not mind submitting to my future hubby as long as he is doing his thing as a man. I feel like a man does not truly feel like a man until he is taking care of his family, so us woman sometimes have to fall back and let them do their manly duties.

I was watching Not Easily Broken and part of the problem in their marriage was the wife was making her husband feel like less of a man by bragging about how much money she made and down graded his accomplishments, so then the husband pulled away. People think the biblical text about marriage is dated, but really it is not.

I also agree it is important for a woman to know how to survive without a man, but alot of woman these days have gotten so high up on their horse that they have forgotten how to SURVIVE with a man, which is hard for woman to do! That's not good, part of learning to be in a relationship is learning how to live with and love someone.

Let me stop here I can go on forever.

Good post.

Mom.Wife.Me said...

Alot of woman these days have gotten so high up on their horse that they have forgotten how to SURVIVE with a man<<<<< So true! Sometimes we tend to think we have something to prove and forget that you don't have to stick out your chest to know that you are independent.

Listening to Steve Harvey the other day got me to thinking...how can a man be a man and be who you expect him to be if you belittle him. In situations of money, we can make more money but why make that man feel like S@#t because he doesn't make as much money as you. All of it going to the same place.

This is a touchy subject for women.

The Keel Gang said...

Hey girl! I loved this post. You rocked it & perfectly. I must be old skool too because I am NOT going to raise 5 kids by myself & do everything for him. NO WAY! And I love how you just put it out there. You know who you are & what kind of life you want to live. So much good in that, so much good.

Mom.Wife.Me said...

Thank you. That means a lot that you said that.