Friday, August 5, 2016

The hard work and the emotions in being strong....

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This account has been up for many years. It has been neglected for many years, as well. I have had so many ups and downs over the years that I didn't want to oblige myself to another task. At the end of May, I had a 10 lbs tumor removed and a hysterectomy. Today I can say that I am pain-free...well besides my ankle that is healing from being re-fractured. I haven't been pain-free for over 3 or 4 years.

After cancer treatment and this recent surgery my weight has fluctuated. I finally feel well enough to return to my journey of weight loss. I could say healthy eating or a change of lifestyle but right now all I want to do is lose weight. I am being 100% genuine with you. I guess the healthy part isn't something I stress because I know with my weight loss comes a different eating style, different food. In essence, I will be adapting a new way of life and a healthier relationship with food. The Lord knows I really need that new relationship with food. 

So why start the blog again and why now? Well, I was sitting after dinner and I was deal hardcore emotion towards my weight, my decision to loss, and how was I going to tackle it. I also thought about all freaking hard work I have to put in to do it. Of course I asked myself is it even worth the effort. Then, I thought I have a clean bill of health and why eff that up. Why work against all the work I had put in when I first started. I realized I need an outlet. I need something to type out my feelings. I need to release all my feelings, good or bad, some place.  I thought someone else may feel the same way and might need to read this. People tend to post or record videos about the beauties of weight loss but they skim over the fact that this mess is hard. Sometimes you just want to say eff it. That's how I am feeling RIGHT NOW. I haven't given up. I don't plan to quit. I am not a quitter. I'm a complainer though. I am a realist. 

So here I am to document my weight loss. Here I am to share the good with the bad. I am an emotional eater. If I cant eat my emotion down, shit, why not type about all the stressor that comes with it. 

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