Right Here, Right Now

watching...the trees blow in the wind



reading...My Statistics Course Book


listening... Silence. It good to listen to nothingness. There are times that I here God's whispers


knowing... I have to get ready for Christmas


wanting... My husband home for Christmas

embracing...the fact that I am more independent that I thought. 

A question I read today...what do YOU think??

Does a person's past factor in to your decision to move forward with a relationship?.
I have to say no. People have to go through something sometimes to learn where they are going. If they are willing to grow from their past why should I not move forward. As long as you live life learning and growing. I don't think that their past would hinder me from moving forward with them. Just like everything else, there are always exceptions to the rule. But you have to be a strong person to really decide if you are ready to deal with a shaky past. A situation doesn't make a person. The person has to make him/herself grow from situations.

My birthday reflections

I have made it to see 32 years on this earth. What a ride!!! Through my journey thus far, I have learned so much. Surprising!!! When you think of it, 32 years isn't long at all when it comes to life lessons. I have grown physically and mentally. I remember when I was so carefree without a care in the world. Now, my greatest fears are surrounding my beautiful children...My family. One of the greatest lesson I have learned is to walk with and lean on God. He will never fail me. I am learning myself. I have also recognized that in my life I did things for the shear pleasure of the thrill. I have also found myself in search of approval. I am growing to know that everyone wont like me and being so carefree isn't always that fun.

Everyone wont approve of what I say or do. I have to be happy from within and remember that what others reactions turn out to be are at the hands of my acceptance. I can only let people affect my life and my actions if I allow them to. I still work to please some. I will always. My Mom and Dad are two people that I strive to make proud. I appreciate the life they gifted to me with Gods guidance. It feels so good to hear my parents say how proud they are of me. Even though, I believe my parents love is so strong that I dont have to do much for them to be proud. And I tell you, I made my parents work growing up. I was a difficult child to say the least. My children and my husband, my actions are always with them in mind. Like my parents, my husband pride shines when it comes to me. I think that is one of the reasons I love that man so much. If I take the trash out. He will brag that HIS wife is amazing because she can lift that heavy bag of trash. LOL!!! Now, whats not to love. I have children that reflect the innocence in life. They are so smart. So willing to explore and learn. I know that my actions will reflect in them throughout their lives. I try hard to do good by them.

I don't dread my birthday. I actually get excited. Why? Because when I woke up this morning (and all previous years) and reflected on my life, I realized that everything I am and do is because of the graces of my God. I pray that God allows me to see another day. In the meantime, I better live it to the fullest. Working on my goals and making moves towards what God intended for me. I am also working on my foul mouth. :)

dyslexic...saying it out loud

It has taken years for me to accept but I may be dyslexic. Some that read my post may have picked up on it through my writing.

No, I'm not stupid. I have a 3.5 gpa in college. I am a avid reader. I just can't process some things like I should. I am actually going to talk to my doctor about it. I am waiting until after the holdiay, to make a appointment I think I am actually just writing this to come to terms with it. Why am I concerned with it now...My kids. My parents always got me that extra help and that extra help did help. I graduated from high school. It took years for me to overcome my fear of going to college. All of this was in fear of failing. Looking in hinesight, I worked hard (VERY hard) but I maintained. I did fail Math and had to fail math and had to take it again with a GREAT tutor. Other than that, I did it...I am doing it.

Will update soon...

Can I just say....

I miss my husband SO MUCH. It's only been a week but I miss that man so damn much!!! It's not even the first time he had to be away from home for a long period of time. For goodness sakes he is in the Army. I do talk to him everyday but wow. Nope I am not tired of this man after 13 years. WOW!! See, good love doesn't die through the year.

Ok, I better take my behind to bed. I just had to share that!!!!