Another update

I havent been busting out my post because my meds are good and I can barely keep my eyes open. I have to go back to the doctor tomorrow morning. The area of the bite looks better but my leg is continuing to swell. I will update you when I get home.

My spider bite update

 Please ignore my toes!!!!!

Since I am sitting here like a mental patient, I figured that I should fill you in. Yesterday, I didnt pay too much attention to my spider bite. I took some benedryl and moved on. Well 3am I woke up with this pain so bad I thought about chopping my own leg off. So I ended up in the hospital. The doctor and nurses shown great concerned freaked out when they saw my leg because it was that bad. I have all my meds.Still in some pain but not to the point as earlier this morning. I should have taken my butt to the hospital ASAP buutttttt NOOOOOO! Well I am going to lay down for a minute. Enjoy your weekend.

See Journee I stole your style. LOL

I'm allergic to spiders and guess what

I got bit by one. My legs is swollen. I am in A LOT of pain. How in the world did I get bit by a spider. Then he bit me on my leg on my tattoo. I spend a lot of money on that tattoo and the bite is oozing. My ink is going to be alll kinds of destroyed. Yes, I aint dead and I will recover but what about my damn tattoo. LOL!!!! Priorities people. I am going to be fine but I am upset right now and had to write this out. My husband is going to die laughing when he calls tonight because I am accident prone. If there is a accident waiting to happen usually it happens to me.

Like one Easter, I got these banging heels. They were bad. I knew I was going to be cute for church. Well guess what...I ended up in the ER with back spasms so strong that I felt like I couldn't breathe. I tripped in the grocery store. Go ahead and laugh...I am not in denial. I know that I am clumpy. I have accepted it and try to live in this world with a helmet, knee pads, and padding. LOL!!!

Do you believe in Angels??

Another blog inspired me to write this.

I remember when Mikey first passed, all I did was pray to God to let him visit me in my dreams. It made me feel like I was closer to him. He did come to me every day. There were times that I was stressed and didn't feel like getting up out of bed. All of a sudden a calming effect came over me like he was there with me. I have many dreams of him coming to me in my dreams telling me that he loves me, giving me kisses, and telling me not to cry because he is ok.

But one day, I had a dream that hurt my feelings so. He came to me and told me that he loved me but he had to let me move on. He wasn't going to visit me as much. He said that he was always there for me and when I needed him he just call his name. I woke up in tears. I felt like my baby is leaving me all over again. I wanted to wake up everyone morning with sweet dreams of my son.It took me a while to comprehend why he stopped visiting. Then finally I realized that he was allowing me to grow. He wanted me to move forward. I always thought that if I moved forward. I was leaving him behind. He is and will always be my baby. So leaving him behind was a thought that I didn't want to consider.

After that night, I didn't have any more dreams. He didn't visit me. Some may say I am crazy but I believe in Angels and I believe that he did visit me. I cried for weeks. I couldn't believe the direction that my life was taking me. I couldn't think of going on with out my son. I didn't want to go on with out my son. Then months and months later, I had a dream. He said mommy I will always be here but you have to live your life. Live your life but keep my memory strong. God will ease your heart.

A year went by and still no more dreams. By this time Matthew as here. And one day Michael and I had some place to go and we knew we were going to be late because Matthew hated that swing. Well that one day he sat in that swing and stared off in a corner just a giggling and laughing. He was bout 4 or 5 months. I don't know what was going on but what ever it was it was VERY funny. Michael and I kept looking in that corner like we were going to see what Matthew was laughing at. Knowing that we weren't going to see. Michael called out "Thank you Mikey. He is a handsome boy isnt it".

From that moment on, I realized that he said he will always be with me and he is. He still doesn't come to me in my dreams much. I do have a dream or two around his birthday, 8 years later. I still have moments like this where I cry and miss him dearly. I also remember that he will always be there with me even if its just in spirit. I see his face everyday when I look at his sister. That little girl is the spitting image of her brother. I talk to his siblings about him. They know that they have a angel brother that is waiting on us.

Tell your loved ones that you love them. You can never tell them too much. You will never know when it may be your last chance.

Back on that saddle.

I hopped on the scale this morning. I only gained 2 lbs since my mini hiatus. That's not bad because I have been munching. I mean REALLY munching. I exercised yesterday. It felt good. I realized that I really miss exercising. So here is my goal for the next two weeks (well a lil over 2 weeks)

Mini Goal=

Lose 5 lbs by my birthday weekend.

Cut down on my coffee addiction. I drink about 4 to 6 cups a day.

Drink more water

No food after 7pm

Log all my foods

Look in the mirror daily and say aloud that I am proud of myself and all my effects.

So I was talking to my husband last night

and that joker said he lost some weight. He said that he is 145 lbs now. He left weighing 163. Now, My big butt got to get on the ball. I can not let this man be alll skinny and I'm still the beautiful plus size diva that I am. I got to get on the ball. Dang man. Yea Yea Yea. He is going to lose weight. He runs and exercise everyday but I cant go down there in November and I am still the same size. I know he could care less. I throw on a dress and the man is happy. He loves the meats but this sistah dont LOVES the meats.

I tried not to be a lunatic with the scale. Well that backfired on my butt. I havent been on the scale since the third day I bought it. So guess what, I am losing these 20 lbs before I do see this man. I even had a talk with God to give me the strength. See, a Girl serious about this. I even had my talk with THE MAN!

Hey...Hey, Yeah you!! Pray for me. I am determined that I am going to do this.

Ok, Now time for me to eat egg whites and plain wheat bread. Come on now, You should know be better than that by now. If I have to starve myself I say flag on play because this game is not for me. So back to portion control, lots of water, and exercise.

My new hair products

PHYTO product line

Since I am sitting here under the dryer I wanted to share my new hair products.

Well, I got my box in the mail yesterday. I am excited to see if this stuff is going to work.

Its by Phyto Paris

Phytoapaisant: Shampooing intelligent, Auto protection for sensitive scalp
The purpose of this shampoo is th restore the hair's natural defense system with is comprise of hydrolipidic film and cutaeous. Paraphrased like a mutha!!! LOL! It is enhanced with lime, passion fruit and shiitake extracts. Its even in a neat little aluminum bottle. It's thinner than typical shampoo. It doesn't have a harsh medicine smell. Not a smell of roses neither. This runs $24 for a 6.7 fl oz bottle. I know right. This stuff better work.

The other product is:
Phyto paris
Phytopolleine with essential oils 1005 botanical
Universal elixir; Stimulates and purifies. This runs about $8 for a .84 fl oz bottle

This is a pre-shampoo stimulant that suppose to help regulate and purify the scalp. It states after long-term use it will bring life back into weakened and lackluster hair. You are instructed to section hair and apply to scalp. Massage scalp and then let set for 20 minutes.

It is 72% essential oil. It has cajeput, lemon, rosemary, sage, cypress and corn germ. The smell is like a light scent of menthol. At first it didn't tingle but while I was waiting out my 20 minutes I started to clean. The more I sweat or got heated the more I felt the tingling.

They were out of the conditioner. So I still use my 1 minute intensive conditioner by IC.

I oiled my scalp and now sitting under the dryer. Right now I don't know what I think. It's not hard and it doesn't smell. I am not itchy and my scalp does not feel inflamed. So far so good. I will continue to use my oils and will give you a progress report mid and at the end of the week.

Forgiveness

I was on facebook and a quote got me to thinking. It was something like let the past be the past move forward. Something like that. I didn't write it down and I am too lazy to go back and look it up. Well anyway, This is not an attack towards the person that typed the quote but something that I have been thinking about lately.

For some people forgiveness is a very hard thing to practice. Some feel that if they are forgiving, they are forgiving someones ill behavior or feel that they are accepting the behavior. Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentments and thoughts of revenge. Personally, Forgiveness is taking the power back that they have over you.

Personally, I have learned to forgive because its just me. I cant stay mad at anyone too long. Its a waste of time and energy . I have had some people that over step boundaries with me and I let that go. It took a lot of prayer but I let it go. Some people forget that forgiving doesnt go hand and hand with forgetting. I will remember what you did. Will I let it control my life? NO, I will not give anyone that much power in my life. Because I am able to move on doesn't mean I dont remember what someone did or said to me. The offender may not even realize the effects of that lay on people life's in what they did. The key is to not let that mess hinder you from being the best you are capable of being. We can forgive without excusing the act.

Now, my issue on forgiveness is moving on part. I am the type that forgiving doesn't mean reconciliation. If I forgive you, I wont be nasty, mean, ignore you or whatever. I have learned that when I forgive someone its not for anyone but myself. It like taking back the power that someone had over me. I will not become a victim. So is that really forgiving someone? Yes. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life. The offense is no longer front and center in your thoughts or feelings. To forgive doesn't mean to go back to the place you were but it means that you can move on with better knowledge and power over yourself.

Your thoughts?

A personal skin care challenge

Since I am challenging myself with hair care I am going to follow suit with my skin.

I havent worn make up daily in a while. I actually dont plan to neither. I may wear lip gloss on a regular basis but that's about it. I want to let my skin breath. I have found some skin care products that work for me. I main to follow this regiment for 2 months as well to see how my skin turns out and then change it up if need be.

I wash my face with Olay Sensitive Skin wash with Aloe 2x's a day
Moisturize with Pond's dry skin cream. When needed but at least 2x's a day
I cleanse with Olay astrigent nightly
Weekly, I may use a mint mask or facial scrub.
When I wear makeup I use Ponds cold cream. Works great for me since most brands burn my skin.

After the two months, I want to see my skin condition and if the products I am using helps. I am a product junkie. I never stick to one thing so this will going to be hard for me.

Wish me luck and maybe you can find the challenge in yourself.

The pains of eczema...

The pains of eczema... My poor Daughter!!!

What does eczema look and feel like?
Although eczema may look different from person to person, it is most often characterized by dry, red, extremely itchy patches on the skin. Eczema is sometimes referred to as "the itch that rashes," since the itch, when scratched, results in the appearance of the rash.

Eczema can occur on just about any part of the body; however, in infants, eczema typically occurs on the forehead, cheeks, forearms, legs, scalp, and neck. In children and adults, eczema typically occurs on the face, neck, and the insides of the elbows, knees, and ankles. In some people, eczema may "bubble up" and ooze. In others, the condition may appear more scaly, dry, and red. Chronic scratching causes the skin to take on a leathery texture because the skin thickens lichenification.

What makes patients with eczema itch?
Many substances have been identified as itch "triggers" in patients with eczema, and triggers are not the same for every person. Many times it is difficult to identify the exact trigger that causes a flare-up. For some, it seems that rough or coarse materials coming into contact with the skin causes itchiness. For others, feeling too hot and/or sweating will cause an outbreak. Other people find that certain soaps, detergents, disinfectants, contact with juices from fresh fruits and meats, dust mites, and animal saliva and danders may trigger itching. Upper respiratory infections (caused by viruses) may also be triggers. Stress can also sometimes aggravate an existing flare-up.

Who gets eczema?
Eczema occurs in both children and adults, but usually appears during infancy. Although there is no known cause for the disease, it often affects people with a family history of allergies.

Those who are genetically predisposed and then exposed to environmental triggers may develop eczema. Many people who have eczema also suffer from allergic rhinitis and asthma, or have family members who do.

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Well this is the life of my 3 year old. There isnt a day that goes by that she is not itchy. I feel so bad for her because there isnt a so-called cure. She has been on 10+ different medications and has been suffering with this since she was been about 2 weeks old.

Cash Only: Can it save you money?

Does going to the ATM every pay day save you money?

I say yes. I have a habit of using my checkcard and not keeping up with the balance like I should. Since I

I know that its WAAYYY early but- Updated

The hubs commissioning graduation is in November but being the big ole planner that I am. I am picking out my hotzee outfits now. Hopeful I will lose some more weight before then. I have been REALLY slacking but tell me what you think.

For Tuesday's Formal. I better hurry up and order since it's on sale.

So, Since the orginal post I have changed my mind AGAIN.

Wednesday Sorta Family Day Deal:

Dont know yet


Thursday Graduation: Need to add the picture for ya.

Cleaning tip of the day

This summer I started buying the pound bag of lemons. I love them in my drinks in the summer. When all the juice is gone and you have a empty container of lemons, put them in your garbage disposal. It will freshen things up a little. Another tip, Do you want Potpourri and not the pay Yankee candle or the other big name prices. Put a lemon(or apple, oranges, any fruit really) and a Cinnamon stick at a sauce pan on low. Smells GREAT!! Or even get you some essential oils and add in the pan. You house will smell divine. Works in even better in a crock pot.


JUST DON'T FORGET YOU HAVE IT ON THE STOVE. WE DON'T WANT YOU HAVING TO CALL 911.

Hair update

So I took the hair challenge and have been having issues. Remember I told you that I have sensitive skin. Well I finally spoke to a hair stylist about my head being inflamed all the time. She said that I may be dealing with dry water and some of the products that I am using may be aggravating my scalp even more. So I have to change up my regiment a little and see how my new products work. It is suppose to help me with my issues. I will fill you in on the products. Besides my scalp being in this sensitive state, my hair is growing.

Now, I am from Maryland. Do you realized that I called up to Maryland for help. All the products I need is being mailed so I will have it by Friday. I will update you when it gets here. I am telling you there is no one here that is great with Ethnic hair. Not just Black folks but I have a latin friend that doesnt have luck neither. I don't feel like traveling and hour and 10 just to get my hair down. So I called to Maryland for some backup and help.

What are your pet peeves?

I have a few. After sitting and thinking about it I am just a meany. LOL

1. Smacking. PLEASE CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.

2. Popping gum. A pet peeve but I found myself doing it once. I smack myself.

3. Self proclaimed know it alls. I think this bothers me because I need evidence. I dont mind you tell me what you think but dont make it out to be fact when you dont know 100%.

4. People that must invade my personal space. Back up let me breathe.

5. A dirty fridge. If a refrigerator is dirty I will not eat from it. This comes from taking my food sanitation class in a while a go in college. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. That goes for all of your house. I don't like to eat other people food because their cleaning habits are unknown to me.

6. Bad smelling houses. I have smell goods all over my house. I have a dog so that means I have to overcompensate to make sure his smell doesnt dominate.

7. People that go in the bathroom and walk out without washing there hands. If you dont like the bathroom soap bring a small bottle of your own.

8. People that invade my plate. Get out my plate. People have been hurt for reasons much less. HA!

9. Stuff on my kitchen counters. I think that appliances that are not used on a daily basis should be put away.

10. Begging. My kids drive me crazy when they beg. If you beg that is cause for some room time. Dont beg. No means NO.

Ok, thats enough. I told you I am meany.

I got beef....

Friday at karate practice a fellow mother and friend approached me asking if I received a call from the school. I had no idea what she was talking about. She said that she received a automated call from the school stating to check our email address for a very important message. She said that she over heard her neighbor saying...hold on let me copy and paste the letter. I am a lil pissed right now.

On 10 Sep 09, an unknown white male, driving a blue in color sedan attempted to entice a student into his vehicle while she walked home from XXX Elementary School. The unknown person made this attempt by offering the child to pet a puppy and by telling the child her parents told him to pick her up from school. The incident occurred on XXX Ave near XXX Ave. The child was able to elude this individual.

2. UCSDIDC was notified of this incident and is currently conducting an investigation into the matter. Further, the Military Police have been notified and have posted a “Be on the Lookout” for the suspect vehicle.

I am guess the neighbor also heard through the rumor mill.

First of all, I never got the call. Secondly, I got the letter in my email today. A few minutes ago. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!!! I pick my child up from school. I also teach him about strangers. But for the parents that recieved the call, Why call and scare them. Because the email just came out today. The phone call was Friday. That is nerve wrenching to know that their is a dude out there is F@#$ing with folks kids.

I will be going to the school today. I will be expressing my concern.

So Please Please Please talk to your children about strangers and the dangers there of.

Why do I write my blogs

and what motivate my topics.

My answer is very random. I learned very long ago, that you never know how your story will affect the next man. I know that I may talk about everything from hair to religion. Some subjects are just for plain ole fun. Some are to reveal to the world that I have a testimony. Some are random thoughts and others are to get a discussion going to help me understand something that I have been weighing in on me.

I thank everyone that reads my blogs all 2 or 3 of you. It means a lot to me that people take time out of their day to read my thoughts. I know that grammar may not be the best. My stories can be long winded but I am taking a leap out of my comfort zone to give you a piece of me through my writing. It's like cheap therapy...LOL!

Tonex...coming out....

This is another what do you think???

Look at these clips and tell me what you think.








If you are not familiar with his story, Tonex is a up and coming religious artist who was rumored to be gay. He came out of the closet officially in this interview.

Now, I dont have a problem with his life style and what he is dealing with. He has to answer for his sins when the Lord calls him home. I do believe that marriage is between a man and a women. I do believe that it is a sin to lust after the same sex. Heck lust is a sin. I will say though that being gay is a sin just like lying. There is no different. One doesnt trump another. I have sinned and will not deny that. My sins are no better than the next man's. With all that said, I can not judge this man for his lifestyle but I do have one issue.

In one of the videos, he was asked will he ever stop his behavior (Don't quote me. She said something like that). My problem was with his answer. I think that his reply was a weak way of saying I have no plans to stop with my gay relationships. Which is fine. Do you boo. But don't say that God didn't deliver you from it yet. God helps those who wants to help themselves. If you are comfortable with your lifestyle, don't say God is allowing you to sin. Point blank sin is wrong. Christians know this. God will help you through this IF you want the help. You have to want to repent for your sins and ask God to lead you through this.

Now, I am not a holy roller. I do not have the Bible memorized. There are times that I have to read and study the bible to help me understand. I just have opinion on this and I stated it.

Just like I have issues with Jamaal Bryant. I think that if you are a leader of a church, you need to try harder to get your life right. You are standing in front of a congregation, guiding them to the right path of heaven. Being a married man and having sex with other women(getting them pregnatn), I have a big problem with that. Yes, we are human. Everyday is a battle. The world is full of sin but come on now. You dont need a bible to tell you that is wrong. Sometimes in life we have to take responsiblity for what we do and not hide behind our faith. Right is Right and Wrong is Wrong. You dont need a Bible to tell you that!!!

Just my opinion. But just like butt holes, everyone has one. LOL!!!

Am I allow to say

....I'm tired.

Well I am. I find myself always having a long to-do list. I dont remember the last time that I was able to take some me time. I mean it wasnt as bad when Mike was home but now its getting to me.

What am I going to do? I'm going to keep this party going. I have 3 little people counting on me. So I better get over it and move on.

THANK GOODNESS my week doesn't consist of running back and forth to appointments. I think for the past two weeks that's allI had to do and my free time when everyone is at school was stolen.

I am really not asking for sympathy. I just needed to say that I am tired. I wont tell my husband. I don't want him worried about me. He already feels bad that his careers keeps him from home A LOT. I don't want him to feel bad about taking care of his family. I am thankful that God sent me such an amazing man that goes out there everyday and bust his butt for me and the kids. After talking to some people recently, everyone doesnt have a man that I have been blessed with.

Ok, let me get up from this computer and get clothes ready for the week, bath the kids and get them ready for bed, clean kitchen, Finish throwing my last load in the drier, fold my last 3 load, and then hit the book. Can't forget stare at my phone until it rings with my hubbs on the other end. Oh and I am saving putting them clothes away until tomorrow.

I know I am forgetting. OHHHHHH Matthew's homework. No, there is something else. It will come to me.

Well talk to you tomorrow!!!! I think I have an interested topic I started it but its going to take some thinking about to get my thoughts and words together.

Radio Topic...What do you think??

Say if you are dating this guy and one of his male friends buy you a pair of shoes, would you accept those shoes? and vice versa, If a guy you know is in a relationship would you buy him random gifts.


HELLLLL NAAAAWWWW!!!

If he aint my man, he dont get/give gifts. And what do I look like buying a man gifts that is in another relationship. If I find out a chick is buying my husband gifts like that, we will have issues. OHHH, yes will have issues.  SOOOOO, make me understand when this situation is ok. We are not talking family or close friends of holidays and birthdays neither. I dont even know that I would understand a close friend buying stuff like that neither. Then again, we dont have close friends in the opposite sex like that.

The epitome of cheap

Mannnn, I forgot to mention.  Well headed to the register to pay for my scale, I come across this amazing pallet of sodas with the display of 80 cent over to[. Sad part is I don't drink sodas. I saw an 80 cent sign for soda and the expiration date was on point, I had to buy it. So in my fridge I have a whole lot of Diet Mountain Lighting and Diet Dr. Thunder. I have a problem. But come on a 80 cent 6 pack.

I'm obsessed..

With my scale. I through out my last one because I couldn't leave it alone. If my scale was a person, I would be considered a stalker. Well guess what ! Yesterday, I went out and bought a new one. I have already gotten on the thing like 5 times and I just got it yesterday. I mean I do watch what I am eating more when I have one in the house but I hate that I obsess with it. What the heck is wrong with me?? I am having an affair with my scale.

Submit to your husband

uhhh ohhhh. Touchy subject!!!

Before I begin to address the title, please read this:

Eph 5:25-33

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I bold the verses 25-33 because people tend to take the bible and translate for their own purpose. Many forget that this was the verse that came right after the wife being submissive. If the woman is humble, modest and not arrogant or prideful, the man should also cherish and love his wife like Jesus loved us and gave his life. If you really think about  it, that is romantic view of a marriage. Women supports their husbands and men protect their wives with all of their heart. 

I was raised ole skool y'all so some may not dig what I am saying. I believ ine a wife submitting to her husband. Dont get me wrong. I do not believe that means become a slave to husband. I was raised that a man is supposed to be the head of the house. He takes care of his wife and children.

I am going to quote the bible a few times there. Be patient with me please. 

Gensis 2:23-24

²³ The man said,
       "This is now bone of my bones
       and flesh of my flesh;
       she shall be called 'woman,'
       for she was taken out of man."

 ²⁴ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 

Plain and simple once the man leaves home, heand this wife is a team. There is no what my mama or what my daddy said. In marriage, its 100 percent us. Nothing on the outside should come between a man and his wife.  He has vowed to love and take care of this wife as if he was taking care of himself .

I am also the woman that believes that a man is suppose to work by the sweat of his brow. If a man is out there busting his butt to make sure his family has, the wife should ensure that her household and children are taken care of as well. I am not saying that a woman shouldn't work. I worked before kids and at one point helped pay my husband way through college. I worked full time while he worked part time and went to college. Why did I do that? I feel that his education was important if he was going to fulfill his obligation of supporting his family. I cant say that I didn't finish college was his fault because it really wasn't. It hurt him to no end when I dropped out. I loved the money more than I loved my education. So I know how to work and I know how to be independent. But now that I am married, I feel that my household and family comes first. There will be a point that I return to work but not until all my children are in school full-time and still my obligation will be to them first. My mother and father did it for me and I will do it for my children. 

I have a awesome husband that works hard to please and support his family. God has blessed me with a wonderful man. Which makes being submissive easy.  My husband asks my opinion on  everything.I share my opinion on everything that happens in my house. I also respect him enough to know that in all decisions that he makes for his family, he makes with a humble heart. So when there are times that he does things without me knowing, I trust that he is doing what's best for all of us. Either one of us are perfect. We sometimes cant not get this right. Life, marriage, and our faith is always going to be a learning experience. I cant give up on him and he  not give on me



I find that being the head of the house is a struggle for some. I am my own person. I have my dreams and goals. I will fulfill my dreams and goals. I also have a family that needs to be loved and cared for. My husband is the head and I respect that. Just like he respects my choice of putting my household first.



Ok but what, I feel that in certain aspects the feminine movement has given some men the excuse to kill chivalry.  No, I dont need a man to do anything. I was taught to change oil (I dont though...ewww), I know how to work hard, and I also know how survive without a man. HA!! I have to I am married to a soldier. He is never home. But Dang y'all. I like for a man to open my door. I don't mind him pulling out my chair. Nor do I mind him taking care of the so-called manly stuff. It doesn't mean you cant do. It's nice once in a while to have a man be down with that chick name chivalry. 

Mama's can sometimes mess their sons up too. A man should be able to cook, clean, and sew up his pant hem if he needs to. To me, there is nothing worst than a man not knowing how to do the basic. He doesnt need to know how to make thanksgiving dinner, nor tailor a suit. Why are we not teaching our men these things. I dont think that gender should determine what is taught. My son will not leave out of my house without knowing how to take care of himself. My daughters are going to know that they dont NEED a man to take care of them. They are giving him a great privilege to take care of them. Saying all that to say this. When a couple marry, they are not entering a marriage to be taken care of. They are entering a marriage because of love. If a woman does for her house doesnt mean that she is a slave. If a man brings home his paycheck and works hard for his family,  she cant compete for the head position. She has to let that man be a man.   See I told you I am ole skool. 


Just like I  do need a ring for me to be your wife. Method, I dont know what you iz thinking...LOL!!! Its deeper than a piece of paper.  That subject is another day another post. ;)

Off to a great start...

Today I throw on my tight jeans to only discover they are my baggy jeans. HOT DAMN!!!! Next Goal, 10 more lbs by my 32nd birthday!!!!




SING WITH ME!!!!!

My twins!!!

They are truly my gift. These two individuals make me work HARD for the title mommy. I am actually fussing at them while I type. After giving birth to Matthew, I had a long talk with God. I thanked him for answering my prayers. I really didnt think about having more because I worked so hard to get him. I said that I would treasure that gift and move forward. Then one day out of the blue I get pregnant. When I said it was out of the blue it was out of the blue. My husband and I had talked about sterilization. Actually making appointments for it. We came to accept have just one son. When I took that test, I was pregnant in deed. SHOCKING!!!

I was pregnant for 5 months before finding out that I was pregnant with twins. I didnt find out until my 20 week Ultrasound. I mean I was HUGE. I was 5 months but looked like 7 or8. Some even thought I was due any day now. I think I didnt know I was carrying twins because God knew that if I knew I was pregnant with my double trouble that I would loose my mind worrying. So, he let me know when the time was perfect. I just have to say it was more perfect for God and not for us.

Walking back into the u/s room, the tech asked if I was pregnant with twins and I answered very indignantly... NO. She put they U/S wand on my belly and there were two babies. She said it so nonchalantly, "Awww, look at the twins." My husband fell to his knee saying you got to be shitting me. I was in shock. To the point that they had to sit me up and give me water. See, it was that much of a shock.

Ok, get this. My grandmother had two sets of twins and my husband is a twin. Why was it shocking I dont know but it was shocking.





Besides me getting HUGE and being very uncomfortable. I couldnt even fit 3x clothes by the time I had the girls and I had them when I was 8 and a half months. The picture was before I GOT huge at 31 weeks. HA HA!!! I was huge then too huh??

At birth one was 8lbs11oz and the other 6lbs15ozs.....Huge babies!!! Everything was great at first and then BAM. There is my test. Me and God have this testing relationship. He loves to test me through my children. Morgan gets really sick the day before its time for us to go home. She was dying and no one knew why. They had to rush her to the children's hospital to try and find what was going on. After a few days and 99 test later. NO LIE 99 test. They found out that she had Renal and heart failure. Her heart shut down because something was wrong with her kidney. After two LONG weeks, I was able to bring my baby home to her brother and sister. She only has one functioning kidney and has high blood pressure. We are blessed to have her here with us because at one point we just didnt know. When we came to the hospital to keep her up she was the largest baby in NICU. I still smile at that today. Here is this fat ole baby sitting with these Tiny itty bitty babies. If you would have seen if you would have laughed. But anyway, she is fine now besides having to take meds. She is the worst one. She fights and play just as hard as the others.

See when I say that I worked hard for my babies. Let me tell you I worked hard.

I tried to give you the synopsis of the story because I didn't want to make this post huge. I'm looking out for you! :)

Meet my babies!!!

dyslexic...saying it out loud

It has taken years for me to accept but I may be dyslexic. Some that read my post may have picked up on it through my writing.

No, I'm not stupid. I have a 3.5 gpa in college. I am a avid reader. I just can't process some things like I should. I am actually going to talk to my doctor about it. I am waiting until after the holdiay, to make a appointment I think I am actually just writing this to come to terms with it. Why am I concerned with it now...My kids. My parents always got me that extra help and that extra help did help. I graduated from high school. It took years for me to overcome my fear of going to college. All of this was in fear of failing. Looking in hinesight, I worked hard (VERY hard) but I maintained. I did fail Math and had to fail math and had to take it again with a GREAT tutor. Other than that, I did it...I am doing it.

Will update soon...

Can I just say....

I miss my husband SO MUCH. It's only been a week but I miss that man so damn much!!! It's not even the first time he had to be away from home for a long period of time. For goodness sakes he is in the Army. I do talk to him everyday but wow. Nope I am not tired of this man after 13 years. WOW!! See, good love doesn't die through the year.

Ok, I better take my behind to bed. I just had to share that!!!!

My hair regimen revisited

Since I washed my hair last night, I wanted to share what exactly I do to my hair with the products that I use.

I wash my hair at least twice with very warm water and Fastasia IC high intensity with Aloe shampoo to open my pores. Then I follow with my conditioner, Fastasia IC Super Concentrated One minute intensive treatment conditioner. I dye and relax my hair so I need a intense conditioner. I then sit under the dryer with a plastic cap for 5 to 10 minutes on high. Sometiems longer depending on how my hair feels and what I am doing. If I am on the computer, I lose track of time. Then I rinse my hair with cold water. I rinse with cold water because I do not want to lose the conditioning that I just apply with opening my pores again. I make sure that get ALL the conditioner out because my hair doesnt need the extra protein. Remember your hair will break with too much conditioner and protein as well.

I usually do all on Friday nights because I do have a relaxer (I have 3 small kids I dont have a night life anymore) and I wrap my hair with QP elastic wrap mousse and let it dry over night. I also do my hair on the weekend because doing it this way I have the extra time to do all that I do to my hair. The next morning once my hair is dry, I brush and grease my scalp with Dr. Miracle's Feel It Formula Hot Gro Hair & Scalp Treatment Conditioner and then comb through Motion's Marula Natural Therapy Hair and Scalp Oil. Once I am done with that I sit under the dryer with a plastic for about 5 to 10 minutes again. Just to get the oils soaked into my scalp. Then I will wrap my hair back up.

During the week I have protective styles that allows me to keep it wrapped up with minimal stress of combing and heat. Daily I do spitz my ends with my Motion's oil(very little. I spray a little in my hair and massage on my ends. Remember the ends of your hair is your driest part of the hair.) Then usually on Wednesday I will give my shea butter treatment. I warm the shea butter (to manipulate easier) and then add my olive oil. I then massage my scalp for at least 5-15 minutes. Finally return to my wrap. Usually I do not need any more oil until my wash day but sometime in the winter I have to add a day in there for greasing my scalp again.

, I realized that co-washing and pre-pooing is too much moisture for my sensitive scalp and I do not do it anymore. I wash my hair every 7 days. I relax it every 8-10 weeks. I am going to try to extend my relaxer until 12 weeks this time around. I think my relaxer is about 3 to 4 weeks old right now.

I try to keep my regiment as simple as I can because...well I am too busy and lazy to spend too much time in my hair. I will be looking for a stylish soon to cut my hair. I want to cut all my dead ends or split ends. I did it myself last time but that was just too much work. Remember I am all about the simple.

Best of luck with your regiment. Remember your hair may be different from mine. It may require something totally different. One thing that I have learned over the years is that if you find a product that works, stick to it. Try to use the product for at least a month before changing. Well there are times that you just know the product isnt for you, then by all means switch it up. But other than that, give the product a try. Also, you don't always need the most expensive product on the market. When using hair products, don't forget to read the label. Try to avoid products with alcohols. Especially products that has alcohol as one of the first few ingredients. That means its one of the main ingredients. When I lived near a great stylish, she told me if I HAD to relax my own hair with try to avoid bases that contain calcium. It causes build-up and cause your hair to shred at the root. For the life of me, I can not remember the relaxer I use. When I remember I will update you. Always Always deep condition your hair if you dye or relax your hair with a creme conditioner with heat and plastic cap. If you dont not own a hood dryer, put a towel in the dryer then apply on top of your plastic cap. If you dont want to buy a plastic cap use one of your walmart shopping bags. RECYCLE and REUSE! :)

Also, take your vitamins and drink your water. Your hair needs moisture but not just from the outside. Your body and hair needs hydration. Go to the dollar store and get you a big ole water bottle. Freeze the water overnight and then you will have your water through out the day. Last time I looked my dollar store had a cute 64oz water bottle. That is perfect for your hydration needs. Until next time.

D.

I am not that strict

I was sitting talking to another parent from my oldest school and felt like a big ole mean mama. I am one of those mothers that think that educating the mind is one of the most important things in this life time. There is nothing worse than a ignorant lil child. I am truly not trying to be mean but children are sponges and we have to take advantage of this well they are young.

With that being said, we were talking about homework and being in the first grade. I believe that learning does not end at school. I also believe that parents can not depend on teachers to educate your child. It is only so much they can do before its time for the parents to step in somewhere. I dont care what the education level of the parents are. If you know you as a parent didnt have, you need to make sure your child has. Some may say that its judgmental but as a Black woman I know the importance of education. I already have 2 strikes against me; being a woman and black. I can't let me not being educated get in the way. I am also one that dont agree with college isnt for me. No one said go get you a degree. There are other options out there for you to educate your mind.

Anyway, I am running off at the mouth again. So, anyway I told her that whether the teacher gives homework or not. My children has homework EVERY time. Whether it be writing, reading, educational games, or something. They are going to do something at home educational going on. I am not a mean mama. Shoot my 6 yr old has a PS2. BUT, he knows its no games until I get my work out of him. Is that really mean?? I am also a mother that had my son learn about the president. I even let him sit up and look at the elections elections night. I think that education doesnt have to be boring. It can be actually be fun. While I am teaching him at home, I am also learning myself. I use all the tools I can find to help them.

That woman looked at me like I was crazy. Its not going to stop be from being who I am nor stop me from making my children do a lil work but wow! I didnt realize I was a sourpuss. :(

All about my pregnancy with my 6 yr old

After I had Michael, I was told that I should try to have another baby by my physician because she didnt see anything physically stopping me. So after getting my clearance, I thought about it and we finally decided that it was time to have a baby.

At first, I was having issues concerning my womanhood. I mean I lost my first child. I had a feeling of being a failure at motherhood. That really wore me down. When I was pregnant with Mikey, I was working full-time as a Manager at Picture People; a portrait studio. When I lost Mikey, I decided that I was not ready to go back to work with babies yet. So, I resigned my position. My husband told me to stay home as long as I needed. I thought it was a GREAT idea at first. Then I sat at home for a few months...alone. I HATED it. So I got me a job. It was kinda funny. One day the hubs came home and I told him I had a job interview. He looked at me like I was crazy. He didnt know I was looking for a job. I got the job working for a medical pre-cert company.

Anyway, So at this point its August and still no pregnancy. Four months and nothing.

DONT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU NOT READY FOR MY GIRLY TMI!!!

Well then I went back to the GYN to find out why was I not getting pregnant. When I got married, I got pregnant the first time with no problems. Now, nothing. She had me charting and taking temps. I had to come in for cervical swabs to see if I was ovulating. I was even on clomid; fertility medication. But nothing. Finally, I came on my period and it wouldn't go off. I had a period from the end of December until March. Finally, she referred me to the a specialist. I was diagnosed with PCOS. Poly-Cystic Ovarian Symdrome. Leman terms...My body produce too much testosorone. It didnt break down sugars, I didnt ovulate on a regular basis, and prone to high blood pressure, obesity, and hair loss. That is just a short list of issues. I have to post about PCOS later

So finally I said God I give up. I put this in your hands and if you want me to be a mother again you will provide. Mind you mentally I was a basket case. I was feeling less of a woman because I just could not get pregnant. It was taking a toll on me. Soon as I said I give up.


TMI ALERT!!!!

Bam, I had ANOTHER period but this time I am passing clots the size of baseballs and larger. I was on my way to the emergency room because the pain had me on my knees. I had my poor husband terrified. I asked him to help me lay down and when I get a little more rest we could go to the doctor. Finally after hours, I was able to get some sleep. When I woke up, I felt fine. I called the doctor. She told me if I am still have any issues at all come in right away but I felt totally better.

So a month later, My husband is preparing to graduate from college and I felt sick. Something told me to take a pregnancy test but after months and months of trying I was sick of testing.

Rewind real quick...Doctor told me to take this medication after I called her that day to regulate my period. She also put me on a Diabetic medication to help me out as well. (you will see why this info is import in a minute. I'm sorry I suck at story telling) She told me on the fifth day of taking this medication my period would start. Mind you I haven't had a normal cycle in a year. So not having a period wasn't unusual. She made me an appointment to give me a higher dose.

So finally I got my test. It was positive. When I read the positive, I jumped on my bed like a child and was jumping and crying and crying and jumping. I will never forget this day. When I found out my husband was at graduation rehearsal. I wanted to surprise him so I post a letter on the front door addressed to him. Once he opened the door, he looked at me eyes wide open. He asked if I was serious. I told him yes and he was soooo happy.

The next day I called my doctor and told her that I tested pregnant. She pissed me off because she said she didn't want to see me until the end of the month because I could miscarry. I wanted to punch that chick in her mouth. Did she not realize what I went through to get pregnant. Needless to say I canceled that appointment.

Well anyway, Monday after my husband's graduation I said the heck with this. I am not risking a thing. I called a High Risk OB and made an appt. When I went in, it was true I was indeed pregnant. Get this I was pregnant when I was taking the meds to induce my period. This drug that was supposed to help me, could have caused my body to abort my baby. But my doctor said that he believes that the diabetic medication may have saved my baby.

This pregnancy was closely watched because of Mikey. I was in and out the doctor all the time. By the time I got to the third trimester, I was in the hospital every other day for check ups. Well finally, my doctor scheduled my c-section but before I went in I had to have a amino. He wanted to look at lung development. When I was on the table, I was NERVOUS! I was a nervous wreck this whole pregnancy because I didn't want to bury another baby. All of a sudden the Doctor said I had to have this baby NOW. I had no fluids in there for the baby. I walked over that day and had my baby.

It was the most scary situation ever. Remember I didnt find out that I lost Mikey until I went into labor. When I was on the c-section table, my poor husband was having issues. He was hyperventilating because he saw them cutting on me.

Then all over a sudden I heard this baby cry. We cried and cried. All of a sudden they said Mrs XXX we cant waste time. Your baby is having issues with breathing and he needs to go to NICU ASAP. God are you trying to kill me is all I could think. I was cleaned up and went back to the recovery room. Hours went by and I haven't seen my baby yet. Family has but not me. I was still looked up to meds and equipment. Not to mention, I was numb chest down. Mentally, I was drained. Finally, I said I was walking to see my baby. I didnt care about any stitches or monitors I was hooked up to. But as soon as I said that the nurse came in with Matthew Aaron.

Matthew Aaron means Exulted Gift from God. He was truly my gift. Now he is 6 years old turning seven the week before christmas. He is walking around looking like he is about 9 or 10. He is my tall baby that is embarrassed to kiss his mommy when she drops him off to school. The next Karate Kid and reads a book like no other. =)

Now, You are going to die when I tell you about the girls. This one is amazing as well.

My hair challenge regiment

I will be washing my hair every week. I tried the pre-poo but my scalp can't take it. My skin is too sensitive for some reason and I have tried a few different conditioners with no avail. So I will stick with once a week for this challenge.

On wash day, I will be using Fastasia IC high intensity with Aloe shampoo and Fastasia IC Super Concentrated One minute intensive treatment conditioner. The only heat that I will be putting on it is sitting under the dryer with deep conditioning. I will wrap my hair with QP elastic wrap mousse and let dry over night. I will grease my scalp with Dr. Miracle's Feel It Formula Hot Gro Hair & Scalp Treatment Conditioner. I will do this once or twice a week as needed. Then, mid-week I will give myself my shea butter treatment and scalp massage. I have been using shea butter and olive oil. Lastly, I am going to ensure that I drink at least 64 ozs of water per day. I also take my vitamins daily.

I am starting this challenge a day late . I am not officially going to do this challenge with posting my pictures with the main site because I am making this challenge a 12 week thing. I want to see after 12weeks of being consistent with my hair what is the out come. I am not a regular routine type person with my hair so this challenge is very intriguing. Wish me and you luck!!

This challenge was derived from my blog friend http://glorycrown.blogspot.com/. Be encourage and maybe try this yourself.

This is for one of my blog friends....friends can be toxic!!!

Last month I had to cut a friend loose because I realized that the relationship was toxic. It was an easy friendship. Heck, she lived 4 doors down and our children were the same age. I am sooo not the clingy type. So I made a point to go into this relationship laying this out on the table. You don't need to talk to me everyday. We don't need to be on the phone everyday. We definitely don't need to be at each other's home everyday. I wasnt trying to be mean but I could see that her personality going there. No let me rephase that. If I was coming home from the store, I couldnt get out my car good before her and her family was right there wanting to talk and conversate. She would text me asking what was I doing and where was I. Now to me thats a bit much. I like to talk to my friends and the whole nine but I believe in space. There has to be a division between friendships and personal/family time. That may not be for everyone but I am a type of person that family time is a must and I will not deviate from that.

Anyway, I realize that she was fascinated in gorgeous people. Meaning she would sit and talk about how gorgeous her friends were. I have nothing against that but its kinda odd to me that you are fascinated with someone that much. Everyone displays some sort of beauty to me. That's just my opinion. Then I realize that it was being categorized who was trash and who wasnt in the neighborhood. I was guilty of going back and forth with it. I cant lie I got caught up in the gossip. For some reason gossip can be reallllll entertaining. Then I realized everything I did or said, she had to do or out do. I told my husband that it bothered me because I try to be different. I prefer to standout than be grouped. He told me that I should feel good because that is considered the greatest form of admiration. Look you can keep that because I dont like it. Dont do what I do or do what what you think I would do. Be you. You are your own person. I will definately be me.

Well then the gossip got worse. She would sit on her porch with other neighbors and gossip about everything. At this point, I had to put that good ole saying into place. If they will talk about someone to you, they will about about you to someone. So I decided that my personal life was private. I would tell her stuff about me that I could care less who knew. Then she started leaving that gossip on my facebook and myspace. Shhhhhh! Yes, I did entertain it. Remember I told you I would got caught up in that mess. But come on. I was like wait a minute, this is not me and I do not want this type of mess on websites looking like that is the opidome of myself. So finally I told her I didnt want to know the gossip or was I going to entertain it. She laughed it off. It stopped for a while but the I am better than everyone else and guuurlll let me tell you what happened to so and so started back up.

One day I just pulled up to the neighborhood and she told me about how my neighbor was doing blah blah blah. She then said that she knew a relative of the neighbor was on myspace and she was going to email her what was being said. Mind you she didnt know this chick from Tom, Dick or Harry. I tried to be her friend and told her to leave that mess alone. I told her she was starting mess.

Well anyway I go on my facebook account and I see a paragraph about her emailing and all the nonsense. I was like WOW! A chick dont know how to mind her business. This was out of my league. I again told her that she needed to mind her business. I said if you were emailing me and I didnt know you and you was talking that gossip SH@t I would tell you to mind your business but I KNOW the ghetto would have came out of me.

Now get this!!! She returned by saying that I was lucky to have my own porch.

OK PRESS PAUSE.

We live in townhouses. My townhouse has its own porch because its a four bedroom. All the two and three bedrooms have to share a porch.

OK PRESS PLAY!!

She then told me that I was lucky that I had my own porch because I didnt have to hear gossip. She said that she had to share a porch and they gossip and she is not going to be a prisoner in her own house.

(here comes my attitude)

1. Dont start in the conversations if you are offended by it.
2. Tell them to dont talk to you about nonsense.
3. You have a Huge front yard and a HUGE back yard. You dont have to be around the people.

As a friend, I told her that she needed to stay out of it.

PRESS PAUSE

If you are not familiar with the military lifestyle. I will try to explain this real quick for you. In the military, you dont have a personal life per say. If you start trouble or get in trouble, your Commander (boss) will be notified. Meaning if she is starting B.S. with someone, they can go to her husband's commander and complain that his dependent (because thats what we are Military dependents) is a troublemaker. Either the commander can ignore it or they can act on it and reprimand the soldier. Dont get me wrong its not that hardcore all the time. It's just that it's a opinion for someone to do. Its one of the ugly things about being in the military. Not everyone goes around calling your Commander but its an option.

OK PRESS PLAY.

I told her that she needed to stay out of it because she was being a trouble making and she didnt need somebody going to her husband job about being a trouble making. She said well I am not sorry for what I did and would do it again. Finally I said I dont want to talk about it no more. I dont want to be apart of the nonsense. Then I deleted that mess off of my facebook. Facebook is suppose to be fun not drama filled. Well anyway I said I cant do this relationship. It's toxic and she was toxic. Now she is to the point of imaturity. Example: all the neighborhood kids were out playing and she would offer all the kids popsicles besides my three. Mind you my children has no idea what is going on between me and her. Children shouldnt be in that mess. It took all that was in me to not go up to her and tell her what was on my mind about that immature stuff. But I inhaled and got them their own popsicles. I dont need that mess. Now mind you during our friendship she only allowed her kids to play with mine because she didnt like anyone else in the neighborhood. So now her kids are looking out the window wondering why they cant play with my children anymore. CRAZY?? I know! Oh well she is only hurting herself and the kids.

I cant hold a grudge if it counted on my life. Now, I will not allow myself to be her friend anymore but I am over her mess. So while she is mad and being simple, we are outside doing our thing like nothing has even happened. Life goes on.

LOL, That is some Ironic stuff...

So I post about working out yesterday...I don't know if I told you or not but my husband is in school and I am doing this single mama thing. Let me tell you, This can be some hard stuff. By the time I was finish with all my ripping and running for my kids, It was 10pm. Now, I would love to say that I have motivation to workout that late at night. I AINT even going to lie to you. My big butt was only looking to sit down and catch some tv time. Well anyway I had to take the girls to ballet today and kept seeing fliers all over the gym (its a kiddie gym) about ESTEP aeorbic classes. ESTEP is the fancy gym here on post. Well anyway I spoke to someone and the ESTEP is remodeling and they will be hosting their classes at the kiddie gym while my girls are in ballet. It's $2 a class or $24 for 14 classes. How can I be lazy when they brought the classes to me. Unfortunately, my schedule only allows me to take one class which is on Tuesday's but hey its better than nothing. Right?

So me being lazy blew up in my face. Now I have to get the nerve to take a strength training class. This class look very initidating but I think I am going to try it out. I have nothing to loss but maybe a sore muscle or 2,5,or even 8.